I'm a great dad. Probably the best. Surely I'm in the top 5 of all time. If there was a dad hall of fame, I would be a first-ballot member.
Anyway, one of my great dad things is messing with my kid's mind. Every day before leaving for work I give him a hug and a kiss (he is 5, so its legal in Florida -- but no photos of it, that would be wrong). So being a great dad, I decided to charge him one penny for every hug. After all, why should he get something for nothing? Teaches him the value of money, and that love is purchased not earned. Besides, with the savings I could send him to college. Ok, city college. Well, maybe mail order degree. All right then, UNC-Charlotte. But that is as low as Ill go.
Well I ask him for a penny every morning and he gives me that long sad "I just want a hug" look, so I give him a freebie. For weeks he has been getting off of paying me my hug dues.
One morning my wife overheard me ask him for my hug penny and said "That's why he is charging me a dollar for every kiss!".
Heh, true story. Little bastard was getting rich off of my scheme. At this rate he can go to NC State.